Komen for the profits

Whew! This Komen for the Cure thing is a true mess, isn't it? I am sad to see such a well-respected, far-reaching organization be so tone deaf in making their decision to cut off funding to Planned Parenthood organizations all over the country. The worst part to me is the utter lack of understanding on their part of how this move would be seen by the thousands and thousands of Komen supporters. Maybe they should hire my husband's company to help them with their PR problem. :-)

Thanks to a friend via Twitter (@jessflynn), here is the Komen response, long overdue:

In my opinion, this video does nothing to ease the concerns of their critics. It never addresses the politics behind the decision. It is a poor example of what to do in the aftermath of completely screwing up the narrative.

Today I find in a blog post by Kivi Leroux Miller (again, thanks @jessflynn) that Komen spent the last day deleting negative comments on its Facebook page. What the what??? I'm sorry, but that is not helping your situation. And it's not something that you can do without getting noticed. It makes you look guilty of something. Of what? Who the hell cares?

Years ago, I stopped supporting Komen. It had nothing to do with abortion, or really anything political. I just felt that the pink-washing was over the top, did nothing but make Komen money, and I didn't feel like we were getting anywhere closer to a cure. My basic feeling is that when any non-profit with a mission of ridding the world of breast cancer, say, gets that large and profitable for so many companies, it will no longer be able to justify completing the mission.

Think about it. If Komen did find a cure for BC, where does that leave them? There would be no need for their organization anymore. All those dollars, all those partnerships that make all those dollars for other companies, all gone. Do you really think in the world we live in today that corporations would allow that to happen?

I am cynical. I admit it. Sometimes I wish I could live back in the "matrix" and not worry about all this nonsense. But I can't. It's nice to see that more people have become aware of the frailties of do-good organizations like Komen.

The people I feel bad for are my friends who work so very hard within the Komen corporation. They are there for honorable reasons, and do have the mission of Komen at the forefront of their everyday work. Please, friends, don't take the criticism personally. We still want to support the vision of ridding the world of breast cancer. Some of us just can't support Komen anymore.

So, now that you know how I feel about it all, how do you feel about this mess? Are you still a Komen supporter? Do you feel they are fulfilling their mission still? Does their Planned Parenthood decision make a difference to you?

More than anything, I would love to see a cure for breast cancer in my lifetime. I stand whole-heartedly behind that mission. As in previous posts, there are plenty of other organizations that could use your dollars and support. Give where you feel comfortable.

The month of dread (and the post that nearly wasn't)

I have been avoiding this post all month.

Pinktober. Ugh.

I don't know if it's just because I'm now a "survivor", or if it's because the pink-washing has become more prevalent in the last 5 years, but these days I can't go anywhere without being bombarded by every NFL player and toilet paper package wrapped in pink, with promises of donating a portion of the proceeds to breast cancer. Research or otherwise, these things are not usually very specific on how much money will be donated, or exactly which charity organization will receive the funds.

Which only makes me think they're being vague on purpose, and they're so very grateful that we consumers are so generous and wanting to help people, that we'll buy up all that stuff with the pink ribbon and feel great about the whole thing. What a boondoggle!

Now, I'm not saying every single thing awash in pink is being deceptive. I'm sure there are some companies who really do donate a significant portion of the proceeds to reputable charities. But I'm sure there are those that don't, too. And that just really chaps my hide! This is a great site that explains pinkwashing and those companies who are doing the right thing.

This year, I have some amazing friends I met through YSC (Young Survival Coalition) who have some great ways you can actually make a difference in a survivor's life, and even help fund more research in metastatic disease.

Debbie Cantwell began the Pink Daisy Project soon after her diagnosis and treatment for breast cancer. She is doing amazing work for our fellow sisters.

Sally Drees decided there needed to be more donations directed to actual survivors and research for metastatic disease. To that end, she started the 31 Day Project. Find it on Facebook, and learn more about the idea.

Aren't you glad I didn't slap up a bunch of statistics? Believe me, I thought about it. (Especially the one about an American dying from breast cancer every 14 minutes.) But really, statistics lie. Upon diagnosis, I had an 86% chance of survival. As a young mom, those odds are not great. Not bad, and certainly I know women who've been given worse. But really, each one of us are not a statistic. We are fighting every day to continue living.

Thank you for coming here and reading my random thoughts. Happy October!!

My leap of faith begins now

Have you ever had a friend encourage you to do something you've always thought about, but never really thought you could make a go of? I just had the most wonderful lunch with some old friends, and they have inspired me to give up writing in the dark.

I met them all through my children's childcare. As a non-profit, they had a board that I was privileged enough to be asked to join years ago. It was a wonderful experience for me. I felt like I was giving something back to my community, helping those that truly needed it, and making new friends along the way. To this day, they are people I greatly respect and admire, both professionally and personally. Every single one of them have huge hearts and have helped to create a stronger community.

Since we haven't seen each other in a few years, we all went around the table catching everyone up on what we were all up to. It was so great to hear what everyone is doing, and shocking to hear how old all our kids are! (BTW, that does not make any of us old. ;-)) I talked about how I'm going to be a guest on my friends' radio program next month (It's Not One Thing, It's Everything-- 89.9FM KRBX Boise), and how I didn't really know what I was going to talk about. And then I explained what I really want to inspire people to do. Get out there, and quit waiting to follow your dream!

Anyone that knows me knows that I could spend hours talking about all sorts of crazy stuff, but that would never be helpful to anyone! So, I thought I'd ask here if there was anything you guys would love to hear someone like me talk about? Keep in mind, this will be in Pinktober (October for you mainstream, non-initiated folks.) So, I'm sure there will be some information about breast cancer in there.

What I don't want to do is talk about awareness. My God, I think by now we're all aware of breast cancer! We know it exists, and that lots more women (and men) are being diagnosed than ever before. You can't walk down the aisle of any store next month without seeing pink plastered to every possible saleable opportunity. I'm probably going to spend more time talking about how to truly help someone with cancer. Or any illness for that matter. How you can make a difference and fund a cure.

But I'd also love to talk about whatever you want to hear about. Do you want to hear about signs/symptoms? How about statistics? Would you rather hear about my personal journey, or should I make it more impersonal? I want to make my time on air as informative and interesting as I can. If you have any thoughts, feel free to post a comment here, or send me a personal message at CancerMommy1{at}g m a i l {dot} c o m.

And a big huge thank you to my friends from Giraffe Laugh, who inspire me and push me to take a leap of faith now and then. :-)

Get ready to hear my voice!!!

Eeeek!

I'm so excited, and so nervous, and nearly beyond words. (But really, did you ever think I'D be beyond words???)

My very good friend hosts a community radio show locally, and she has invited me to be a guest!! (Check out their site, and their show.) Of course, in October. You know, breast cancer awareness month. (I despise Pinktober.)

So, to reverse my feelings on the whole awareness month thing, I've chosen to be a guest on her show on my birthday. That should make me happier than normal to be talking about things with complete and total strangers, right?

Good Lord! What ever shall I talk about? I'm all ears, if all my dear readers would be kind enough to give their advice. What would you want to listen to me blather on about? Is there something specific that you think people would be more interested in hearing about?

I know this experience will be loads of fun. Especially because I'll be in good hands with my friend, C. And, of course, the listeners seem to be very compassionate people who wouldn't dare make a guest feel bad. :-)

Carpe Diem

School's out around here, and that's supposed to mean lots of trips to the pool and hanging out outside. But Mother Nature seems to have different plans.

We've had some wacky weather here, and it's still much cooler than "normal" (whatever that means) for this area. Tons of rain, even though we live in a desert. Cool temps, even though we live in a desert.

The kids and I have yet to establish a routine for these summer days. We sleep in, eat late, and end up getting not much accomplished before Dad comes home. (Can you tell I'm feeling a bit guilty?) That is going to have to change soon!

Even with the guilt, it's been so wonderful to hang out with the kids and just be. Ya know? There were days, weeks, and months a few years back that I wasn't sure I'd be around to see any of this. I am so grateful for the opportunity.

I try and remember this daily. Sometimes it's easier than others. (I now have a 10 year old son who thinks he's an adult. Ugh!) And this shouldn't have had to come from my cancer experience. Every parent should be so thankful for every moment they get with their little ones.

You hear it alot from older people. That your little ones aren't little for very long. When we're young, we often roll our eyes and can't see past the shouting match we just had with our kid over the need to change their underwear on a daily basis. (Yes, sadly, this really did happen fairly recently at my house.)

We need to take a step back, once a day at least, and see our lives for what they really are: a gift. Take a deep, cleansing breath and remember one thing about your life or your child that makes you smile.

Ever since cancer, one of my goals is to get people to realize they can seize the day without the shitty cancer journey. Each and every person can see the good, not the bad. They can smile, not frown. The glass is half-full, and all that. It's all a choice, and as soon as you realize that, your life will be so much richer!

So, from time to time, I will be reminding you all of how great life is, and to seize the day! Sometimes all we need is a little nudge. :-)

Best Christmas Present Ever!

Image: WashingtonCityPaper.com

Today was the last day before Christmas break. Yep, school's out for 2 whole weeks! What on Earth will we do? I'm thinking, sleeping in, snuggling on the couch, and eating our hearts out with all the goodness around sounds pretty darn good to me.

Oh, and I guess we'll celebrate Christmas, too. :-) My kids are 6 and 9, and mostly still believe. Personally, I hope they try for a very long time to make me think they're believers, because it's all so much fun!

I got the best Christmas present ever yesterday. I had my regular 6 month check up with my oncologist. Lovely lady, very smart and about my age, so we get along smashingly. Anyhoo, we did the blood work (which I had to go in twice for, with 4 pokes total!) and the clinical exam (you know, the part where you strip and they feel you up a bit) and then got to sit down and talk about the state of things. Blood work=normal. Clinical exam=normal. My complaint of being exhausted=normal with 2 small kiddos and tons of volunteer work. She doesn't have the magic bullet for weight loss yet, but I guess I'll give her a pass on that one. :-)

At this point in the visit, I always start asking tons of questions about this drug or that treatment or this test, and whether or not I should have had in the past or have it now. (Does any of this sound familiar, or am I just a nut?) Any breast cancer patient worth her salt counts down the days until her 5 year cancer free anniversary (or cancerversary, for those of us on YSC). Mine is due this summer. So, we started talking recurrence risks, etc. Turns out, for my particular type of breast cancer, the highest risk of recurrence has already passed me by! It helped that I had a bilateral mastectomy and all those horrible chemo drugs and radiation. So, on the bell curve, I'm on the tail, and that tail has a recurrence risk of 2-5%.

Image: the Frisky


Not only that, but those yearly MRI's I've been forking out so much money for? Turns out they really don't do me much good anymore, and she didn't think I needed them. At least not on a yearly basis.

At this point, I'm seeing myself doing the hula on Hawaii with all that extra cash I'll have in my pocket. :-) Not really, but those darned things are so expensive! And now that I'm on an individual policy, those costs really add up. Yep, I was feeling pretty darn euphoric. A hug and a Merry Christmas, and I'm out the door.

On my way out, I shared the elevator with two lovely ladies who had just finished their appointment with my oncologist's partner. They were both older, but I assumed the older of the 2 was the one in treatment. Oh no! The younger one was. (Young being relative, as she had to be in her 60's.) She looked just like I looked when I first started this whole crazy rollercoaster ride-- nervous, worried, tired, confused.

Image: PsychCentral


We started talking on the way down. She had just completed her first chemo treatment last week. I asked her if she'd noticed her hair falling out yet, and she hadn't. The look in her eyes was one of such sadness. I remember that oh so well. Losing your hair is the surest sign that you are sick, whether you feel sick or not. It's such a defeat, or at least it felt that way to me. I told her to shave her head as soon as it started to fall out, and to make a mohawk before she shaves it all. That image made her smile, and it made my day. I swear, if I could spend my day talking to newly diagnosed women, listen to their fears and concerns, and help them understand that the journey is filled with sorrows and joy, and that they will get through it, I would be a happy camper.

I left the office knowing I'd probably never see that woman again. I can only hope that seeing someone who's gone through it and come out the other side healthy, happy, and strong will make her believe she will do it, too.

Happy Holidays to you and yours. May your journey bring you more joy than sorrows, and more strength than you knew you had.

Image: Twisted Thoughts and Hopeless Dreams