Cancer's a bitch, no matter what she's wearing

God! Every time I try and get into a routine posting, something happens to throw a wrench into my plans!

I have been trying to decide how best to write about what's been happening around here. I haven't really figured out the best way to do it yet. :-) So, I'll just treat this as I do most other things in my life. Be blunt. Be real. Speak truth.

In March of this year, my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 lymphoma. She was fine one day, and couldn't breathe the next. There were a few very scary moments where I thought we would lose her for sure. (Let's just say, spending the night in the ER watching my mother unable to breathe is not the funnest experience.)

There are many reasons this whole thing threw me. Clearly, the primary reason is that my mother had Stage 4 cancer. Not good. I was also highly frustrated with my parents, who were not handling the situation the way I would have. There were many, many delays in diagnosis and treatment, partially because they chose not to make a big stink when they needed to. In any normal situation, my parents tend to do the opposite of what my advice is. This is nothing new. I was frustrated because I had travelled that road already. Fairly recently, actually. And I knew alot about what they could be doing and what they should be doing to get things moving. I will never understand why they made the decisions they did. But my friend K reminded me that this is my mother's journey, not mine, and that I had to let her make her own decisions about her treatment and care. I will forever be grateful to K for her wise words.

Of course, the diagnosis had me having flashbacks to my own experience. It was strange to be reliving my own experience just hearing the word "cancer." It never really is over, I guess. There will always be those lingering "what if's" and fears. Watching someone you love go through this is sooooo much harder than I realized. I always knew it was difficult, and at times told my husband that I at least could "fight" it with chemo, etc. He was left to watch helplessly, hoping that things turn out ok. How horrible is that??? Now, we're all watching mom.

She has gone from being tethered to an oxygen tank 24/7 to, after 2 chemos and her latest CT scan, most of her tumors in her lungs vanishing! Chemo is no picnic, for sure. And she still has days where things are not great. But, she's had some really good days. Normal days (minus a bit of hair.) She recently celebrated her 60th birthday, with lots of friends and family here to party the night away. My parents have so many friends here that when I put together a dinner calendar, it was nearly full in 3 days!

I find myself clinging to the statistics her oncologist gave us for her cancer, even though I've always shunned them for myself. I am not a statistic, I am me. I will beat the odds. Her "odds" of remission are 80%. Those are some great stats! Better than mine ever were.

So, we're trying to keep on with life as normal as possible. My kids are yet again smack dab in the middle of a very serious health situation. I hate that they have to experience this again! With my parents living a mile away, my kids get to spend alot of time with them. When we told the kids about grandma, my daughter fell into a puddle of tears and was very scared. My son told her everything would be fine, just like it was for me. I can tell he's got some fears, though, behind that strong facade. I'm still trying to get him to voice them.

If you've found yourself at the end of this post, I have just one thought to leave you with. Life can be short. Very short. With each and every day you get, remember to JUST LIVE!

Playing catch-up

March 6th. Tuesday. Super Tuesday for some of you. Sick kid at home all day. Not too sick, though, as he is currently crying about how mean I am for making him lay down in bed and try and take a nap.

I'm a little off on posting lately, so I need to catch you up.

My February "pay it forward" moment was taking my parents out for lunch. Technically, my dad slipped me a $20 under the table, so I suppose one could argue I didn't really take them out. (The bill was for more than $20, so I did pay for some of it.) But, in my family, dads letting their kids pay for any amount of the meal is a big deal. Arguments usually ensue, and it all is quite comical. This time, notsomuch. What did you get to do for February "pay it forward?"

Last week I was in the Starbucks drive thru, ordering a coffee and planning to use a gift card my husband received. As I drive up to the window, the SB gal says, "The woman ahead of you paid for your coffee today." She will never know how much that small gesture meant to me that day. I had received some bad news about a family member, and was so touched that someone else was spreading good cheer through small gestures, just like I had. So, this "pay it forward" idea isn't a new one, but it is becoming more popular, for sure.

Life has been hectic. Both kids in basketball, volunteering at school and for the school levy campaign, and various family issues that have come up recently. I'm sure I'm no different than most of you. Crazy times, for sure.

Right now, I'm listening to a gaggle of girls from our street playing in my backyard. They are loud, wild, and having such a good time. Who knew our swingset would still be getting so much use??

Crazy windy here. Snow overnight, sunny this afternoon, and 60's yesterday and tomorrow. Welcome to Idaho in the Spring. Since my husband has a dinner meeting, I was planning to take the kids out. We'll see what dinner-time brings as far as the sick kid goes. Maybe cereal or pancakes for dinner?

Our exciting Saturday

It's Saturday. Our one day to sleep in. Our daughter had a basketball game, which we attended and cheered at. Our son is playing with his friend, who's been on vacation all week. We've taken the dog for a walk, and had lunch. We now have the house to ourselves. And what are we doing?

Sitting in front of our computers, bored out of our minds!

My God, we are such an old married couple!

2 Days

I spent the better part of the week my son was away at camp worrying about him and wondering what he was up to. I even went so far as to dream about when he's back home, waxing nostalgic about how our family would be whole again. And, for the most part, it is.

It took all of 2 days for things to go downhill. Back to the normal, "I hate you" (directed towards his sister) and all the other hysterics that occur with a 10 year old in the house. 2 days!!

While I'm still so very glad he's home and back with us, I do wish the effect had lasted a bit longer. *sigh*

On the bright side, school starts in 2 days. :-)

Permission granted!

Halloween is almost here. I have to admit, it's not one of my favorite holidays. It's never a day off, it's something you have to do after dark (usually when it's cold), and my kids can't seem to get enough of it (which means they're bouncing off the walls ALL DAY until they can go out and get candy!)

The other day I got an interesting e-mail. Our neighborhood has a ton of community activities, and really does feel like a small town rather than just a planned community. (If I were childless, I'd live elsewhere. But with kids, this is an ideal place to raise them.) Anyhoodle, the e-mail was from our "Town Manager" letting us know that our neighborhood was going to hold Halloween Trick-or-Treating on Sunday this year, just like the surrounding city will.

What?! I was unaware that this had to be a sanctioned activity. I realize that these days there are people who are afraid to go door to door in their own neighborhoods, for fear of the boogeyman. (While I understand some people having this problem, most people don't, and it just seems silly to ruin Halloween because you don't know your neighbors well enough! And that is another post for another day.) There was even a letter from the Mayor of our fine City, directing residents to forego trick-or-treating on Saturday (October 30th) and plan to do it on the actual holiday.

I realize Saturdays are really the best day for this kind of activity, it's just not the way it's done! Your kids are supposed to stay up late, eat a ton of candy, get stomachaches, and head off to school in a sugar daze the next day! And we parents are supposed to "test" the candy every now and then, to make sure it's "safe" to eat. That's the way it works, people!

While I've been ranting about how things should really be done, I wonder if anyone out there feels differently. Do you? If so, I'd love to hear your side. I'm interested in other opinions, and it might even give me a chance to change my mind.

On the lighter side, I'll leave you with a photo I found while going through chemo. It really makes me smile every time I see it. I hope it does for you, too.

Happy Halloween!!

Photo credit: idothings.info

Family visits ARE fun!

My husband and I moved away from all our family about 12 years ago. At the time, it was solely to follow a job (for him) and, we figured, after he got some experience, we'd come "home." 12 years later, we both agree that moving away was one of the best decisions we've ever made. He and I became closer as a couple, were more confident in our parenting abilities without constant "advice" from my 2 MIL's, and have a much better quality of life due to the cost of living differences.

That said, we love having company! None of my husband's family visits much, so when his stepsister decided to bring her family over for the weekend, we were thrilled! Her kids are around our kids' ages, and we adults get along smashingly. Between floating the river, swimming in our community pool, and zoo visits, we got those kiddos good and worn out. The adults even got to stay up late and drink beer, without interruption!

Could those kids be any cuter?!

There were, of course, a few incidents between kiddos to handle from time to time. Thankfully, no blood was shed, and no feelings truly hurt. So, all in all, I'd consider that a good visit. :-)

I guess my thoughts today, reflecting on our visit, are that family is nice to have around, if only in small bursts. I try hard not to worry too much about those in the family who are a bit toxic to me and my family. (Yes, we have some toxic relatives, don't you?) I try equally hard to nourish the relationships with those who bring me and my family joy. It's not something I would have spent much time thinking about before cancer, but now I really focus on starving the bad and feeding the good in my life.

And yes, that even goes for family.